So I’ve tried online dating.
It was… how to say… an interesting experience !
That’s where you realize how much people are mentally challenged, completely crazy, especially when they are behind a computer.
In the wild world of online dating, I first tried the website that pretends to be selective, then I tried the regular one, and finally the best of the best.
1. Attractive World : For Sophisticated Singles.
The online dating website for the “elite”, as if having a postgraduate degree was a proof of seriousness and education. Who are you kidding ????
So, you fill in your profile (where you have to mention your job and your salary) and then you wait to be chosen… among the GODS !
They achieved to make you stress of eventually being rejected like a piece of s**t, and for what ? the slight hope of meeting someone you like !
Anyway, once you passed the test (Phew!!! Well yeah, the idea of being refused entry, whatever the circumstances, it sucks (I’m a competitive woman)), you have a look at the profiles that match your search criteria.
And there it is… the selectivity argument is just a cover… Let’s not talk about those who just try to get laid, the false profiles, those who lie about their age, their face, their job, their educational background… because I will take a moment to tell you the story of this OSCAR WINNER, the specimen who asked for…
Yes, yes, people, you read correctly !
You let yourself carried out by his attitude, gentleman, he is cultivated, he has a great sense of humour, said meaningful things, to finally ask you for money !
- Asshole : “Hey Beautiful ! (very good start…) Tell me, I’m actually on a business trip in Greece.”
- Naive version of Me : “Cool !”
- Asshole : “yeah, well, not really.”
- Me : “Really ? What’s happening ?”
- Asshole : “I’m in a middle of the nightmare, a little long to explain. I’m embarrassed to ask you this, but I wanted to know if you could send me some money, I’ll give it back to you once I come back in Paris. You can use Western Union services.”
- Me :
The benefit of online dating, is that you can dump someone without saying a single word, you just need a mouse to clic the “delete” button !
2. Match.com : Number 1 dating website
Two of my friends found their spouses through Match.com. So I told myself “why not ?”
No need to talk about much about this experience, which ended with an array of “b**ch”, “you’re just a sl*t”, “you’re sexually deprived”, “you’re been f*cked by a flock of Greeks” (on this last one, I think the guy had a bad encounter with the Greek community, otherwise I don’t know where that comes from…), and many more, from guys I decided to ignore the messages…
If you don’t want to be rejected that fast, don’t play the game of online dating !
3. Last but not least : TINDER !
Yes, yes, I tried Tinder. What could I possibly find interesting in this App, as it is famous for encouraging very very short relationships ? The speed of the process I guess (I’m too lazy for my own good).
Anyway, I didn’t expect anything special, but I have to confess I was quite surprised when, during one the conversations I had with this guy, it ended with him sending me a picture of its very private parts… Just to be clear guys, breaking news : penis is not the most beautiful part of a man’s body ! Quite the opposite !
But, there was this guy, with whom I had a date for diner, and who had a very special idea of having a conversation in the subway with his date : talking to her while being 3 feet ahead of her….???!!???!!!???
So of course, before even reaching the restaurant, I was pissed. Picture this : you have to walk very fast (run even) with your high heels, behind a guy who talk to you without even looking at you, and for what ? reaching the restaurant, all sweaty (who gives a shit about the time I spent to straighten my hair….) and out of breathe, this is not what I call the perfect conditions to start a first date !
So, you might tell me that I’m too picky, that I have very high standards, that I’m asking for the moon, that I don’t compromise, that I expect perfection, when perfection doesn’t exist, and all that…
Well let me tell you, I don’t expect perfection, I’m just waiting for a normal person (less common that we think, considering the number of freaks out there !), someone I’m physically and intellectually attracted to ! It’s not too much to ask ? I won’t lower my standards, just to be in the norm, just to be with someone.
And there are beautiful fishes in the sea, I met few of them 😉 !